I've been thinking about this a lot lately.
How much of our lives do we actually have control over?
Obviously, there are things that happen that we can't control. Life happens. People disappoint you. Plans don't work out. You can work really hard for something and still not get it.
I'm not talking about those things.
I'm talking about all the little decisions we make every single day that we do have control over.
Because I think sometimes we convince ourselves that we're stuck when really, we're just waiting for something to change without changing anything ourselves.
And I've definitely been guilty of that.
We Always Think We'll Start Later
How many times have you told yourself:
I'll start Monday.
I'll start when I'm less busy.
I'll start when I have more money.
I'll start when work calms down.
I'll start when I'm more motivated.
And then Monday comes.
Nothing changes.
I think we spend a lot of time waiting for the perfect time to become the person we want to be.
But I'm starting to realize that perfect time probably isn't coming.
Life isn't suddenly going to clear your schedule and say, "Okay, you're ready now."
There's always going to be something going on.
At some point, you just have to start anyway.
Fitness Made Me Realize This
Working out is probably one of the easiest places to see it.
You can't control your genetics.
You can't control exactly how quickly you're going to see results.
You can't control whether somebody else is naturally stronger, faster, or more athletic than you.
But there's a lot you can control.
You can decide whether you show up.
You can decide how much effort you give.
You can decide whether you get back on track after a bad week.
You can decide whether one bad workout turns into quitting altogether.
I've had days where I absolutely did not feel like working out. I've had runs where I wondered why I ever decided I wanted to start running again.
But I'm learning that progress isn't really built on the days when everything goes perfectly.
It's built on what you do when it doesn't.
And the more I've thought about that with fitness, the more I've realized it applies to pretty much everything else too.
Nobody Is Coming to Build Your Life for You
That might sound harsh, but I actually think it's freeing.
People can help you. They can encourage you, teach you, and open doors for you.
But eventually, you're the one who has to walk through them.
If there's something about my life that I don't like, I can spend all day wishing it were different.
Or I can ask myself:
What can I actually do about it?
Sometimes the answer might be "not much."
But usually there's something.
And I think that's a much better place to put my energy than everything I can't control.
Taking Responsibility Doesn't Mean Blaming Yourself
I think this part matters.
Taking ownership of your life doesn't mean believing everything bad that happens to you is your fault.
It's not.
There are things that happen to people that they never asked for and never deserved.
But there's a huge difference between saying:
"I couldn't control what happened."
and
"I have no control over what happens next."
Those aren't the same thing.
You still get to decide what you do next.
You still get to decide what kind of person you're going to be because of it.
Sometimes that's the only control you have.
But that's still something.
The Hard Part About Taking Control
There's something uncomfortable about admitting how much our choices matter.
Because once I admit that I have some control over where my life goes, I lose some of my excuses.
If I say I want something badly enough, eventually I have to ask myself:
What am I actually doing about it?
It's easy to say you want to get in shape. It's harder to train when you don't feel like it.
It's easy to say you want to save money. It's harder to stop buying things you don't need.
It's easy to say you want a better relationship. It's harder to communicate, forgive, and put effort into one.
It's easy to say you want to grow closer to God. It's harder to put the phone down, open your Bible, pray, and actually make time for Him.
It's easy to talk about the person you want to become.
Actually becoming that person requires something from you.
Your Life Is Being Built Right Now
I think we picture changing our lives as this huge moment.
One big decision. One opportunity. One breakthrough where everything suddenly becomes different.
But I think most of our lives are built in ways that are way less exciting than that.
It's what you do on a random Tuesday when nobody is watching.
It's getting the workout in.
It's studying when you'd rather do something else.
It's saving a little money.
It's calling someone you care about.
It's choosing who you surround yourself with.
It's whether you keep the promises you make to yourself.
Those decisions don't feel life-changing when you're making them.
But do them consistently for five years?
You've built a completely different life.
A life is built in ordinary days.
Where Faith Fits Into This
My faith is a big part of the way I look at all of this.
I don't believe I'm completely in control of everything that happens in my life.
I believe God is.
There are going to be things I don't understand. Doors are going to close that I thought were supposed to open. Things aren't always going to happen on my timeline.
But trusting God doesn't mean I sit around doing nothing.
I can pray for direction and still take a step.
I can ask God for opportunities and still work hard when they come.
I can trust His timing while still being responsible with the time He's already given me.
I've been given a body.
I've been given time.
I've been given opportunities.
I've been given people to love.
And I want to be a good steward of those things.
I don't want to spend my whole life waiting for God to change something that maybe He's already given me the ability to start changing.
Start With Today
You don't have to completely change your life today.
That's where I think we get overwhelmed.
Just take control of today.
Go for the run.
Apply for the job.
Make the phone call.
Apologize.
Start saving.
Open your Bible.
Put your phone down.
Start the thing you've spent the last six months saying you're going to start.
None of those decisions will completely change your life by tomorrow morning.
But make one today.
Make another tomorrow.
Then another.
Eventually decisions become habits.
Habits start changing you.
And one day you look around and realize your life looks different.
So What Are You Going to Do With It?
You aren't in control of everything.
Neither am I.
And I don't think we're supposed to be.
But you do have control over what you do with what you've been given.
Five years from now, your life is going to look like something.
You're going to become someone.
And that person isn't only being created by the huge moments.
They're being created right now.
By what you do when nobody's watching.
By the promises you keep.
By the things you stop making excuses for.
By whether you take the next step when you can't see the entire path.
You don't need to have your whole life figured out.
I definitely don't.
You just need to stop waiting for your life to become something you haven't started building.
You can't control every chapter you're handed.
But you are responsible for what you write with the pages you've been given.